This post isn't likely to gain me any friends. But it's one of those that has been bouncing around in my head (and on my heart) for quite some time. I sit down in hopes of writing something else--anything else--but I just can't get around this thing.
So I apologize in advance.
I know this is going to offend some of you. Feelings will be hurt; tempers may flare.
And I'm sorry for that.
I am not sorry for writing it though.
Truth be told--I will be feeling the same hurt and anger as I type these words.
Here goes....
"If I have to listen to one more gray-faced man with a two-dollar
haircut explain to me what rape is, I’m gonna lose my mind!” --Tina Fey
Rape is inexcusable. It's disgusting. Under no circumstances are there any exceptions to that fact.
Rape hurts the victim and the victim's family. Likely for the rest of her life she will experience the affects of being brutalized in this most horrific way.
Rape is a crime that should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. Every time.
Without exception.
But who should be punished for this horrific crime? The rapist.
End of story.
Rape shatters hearts--crushes spirits. Rape makes it extremely difficult to experience real intimacy for a long, long time...if ever. Rape steals innocence, leaving anxiety in it's wake.
Please know that I hear you on these things.
So does my husband and everyone else who has chosen to love me.
I have a hard time remembering without crying. A hard time writing these words without wanting to throw up. But can I just tell you that through that absolute most traumatic experience I have ever had....God had a plan! Rape was not His plan but from the beginning of time He knew how He would use it.
That is what I believe Richard Mourdock was saying.
Here's the thing, my rape did not result in a pregnancy. But it did set forth a chain of events in which I found myself giving birth to a precious baby boy at the age of 15. And while I was not violently assaulted by my son's father, I was taken advantage of, emotionally/psychological abused and manipulated, lied to, stolen from, threatened....for years. The time I spent with him is in close competition with the time I spent with my rapist (wow. hardest two words I've ever put together).
Obviously my son is a reminder of the time I spent with his abusive father. But that is NOT who he is. He does not deserve to be punished in any way for the pain I suffered as a result of the actions of his father. He is one of my greatest joys. A life created so intentionally, with a PURPOSE, a perfect blessing.
We have to stop telling girls who have just experienced the horror of rape that ending their babies lives will make the hurt go away. It absolutely will not.
As I write this, tears flow, but not for my own painful memories. My heart hurts for the girl out there RIGHT NOW carrying a child in her belly, no one loving her enough to tell her the truth.
And then be there for her no matter her choice.
I am not writing this to bring shame to any woman who has chosen abortion. I am not claiming to know anything about the road that led her to that point. I don't. But what I do know is that from great pain can come great blessing. There are options. Options that don't require ending a life.
If you truly do not think that abortion ends a life, this post is not for you. I believe there is overwhelming evidence in support of that....but I am not sharing today in hopes of convincing anyone.
I'm speaking to those who believe abortion is wrong, except in cases such as rape. I cannot wrap my mind around exceptions in this case. If it's not murder, it's not murder...and should be allowed no matter the circumstance.
Likewise, if abortion is taking the life of another human being and not an acceptable option when a baby would simply be an "inconvenience"...it's not an acceptable option no matter the circumstance.
Rape does not justify murder.
And I feel like I can say that because I am not a "gray-faced man with a $2 haircut".
-Cassi
(Note: I chose to use female pronouns for this post; however I am
well aware that men can also be victims of rape. My intention was not to
ignore that fact.)
Thank you for posting, Cassi! You are amazing!
ReplyDeleteWell said :) <3
ReplyDeleteWords full of wisdom...thank you for being transparent enough to share your heart!
ReplyDeleteI admire your courage, Cassi! Love you.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I do not believe in abortion for myself. But I believe there is arrogance in limiting other people's choices about their bodies. Seriously, what if you had no choice and you were forced to abort, like in China? Honor individual choice! Bravo on sharing your personal story, beliefs and opinions. That takes guts.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous – I agree that there can definitely be arrogance in any view that seeks to take away the personal rights of others. Motivation is a huge factor. My motivation in writing this comes from a desire to protect the personal rights of the unborn. I hope that in some way my own story will encourage, even just one girl, that there is healing after great pain. That healing does not need to come at the expense of another life. And I hope that by telling my story, other girls might tell their stories. That rape would not be a part of us that we are ashamed of, that it would not define us and that it would not cloud our vision when it comes to making decisions/laws to protect the lives of the unborn.
DeleteI appreciate your desire to speak on behalf of women, just as I have a desire to speak on behalf of sweet babies not yet able to speak for themselves. So thank you for sharing your beliefs and opinions as well.
There is a huge difference between a person doing something with "their body" and doing violence to another person's body. A woman does not have two heads, four arms, four legs, and two beating hearts. That second set of everything belongs to a separate person, temporarily housed in the woman's body. Therefore, the woman should not have a "choice" about destroying her child's body.
DeleteThank you for sharing this beautiful testimony. The politicians to whom Tina Fey directed her comments were not the appropriate people to talk about this topic. Even the most well intentioned comment will be twisted because ultimately he hasn't been through those circumstances. Your message, while uncomfortable to some, carries much more weight than theirs will. Again, thank you for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteCassi--Thanks for your courageous post. Politicians on the stump are probably the last ones who should try to sound authoritative on these things. Especially when their information isn't even accurate (e.g., Akin). But you're right: the war is not on women, it's on babies. One popular blogger on abortion rights said it's been proven that life doesn't begin until 20 weeks gestation! How in the world can you have a rational discussion in the face of such mindless subjectivism? Words no longer have any fixed meaning. I'm also struck by Fey's elitist and arrogant comment about a $2 haircut. Some people can't even afford that, and cut it at home. But then, how could a limousine liberal grasp that? --Michael Olan Webb
ReplyDeleteWell said and thank you for saying it. I may have to use your post in the future, so I'm not accused of being a "grey-faced man with..." well, since my wife cuts my hair "30 cent haircut." (I'm prorating the cost of the electric clippers per haircut).
ReplyDeleteBlessings
Cassi,
ReplyDeleteI echo the voices who've commended your courage in being transparent and your willingness to open yourself up to potential judgment by those that feel they have a right. They don't. They are allowed an opinion, we all have one. They are not allowed to judge - that's God's job.
You have the authority to speak on this topic. Thank you for the courage you have shown by sharing your opinion and heart-felt conviction, in the hope of protecting the rights of the unborn, in the spirit of influencing and encouraging even one woman.
Renee
Cassi - I agree with your position on abortion completely. As a wife and mother who has intimate experience with this topic, I can concur and empathize. BUT, I believe we as Christ-followers need to share the Truth in its entirety, which Mr. Murdoch did not do and which led to the subsequent ridicule that Mr. Murdoch - and, by extension, the Body of Christ - has endured. Also, Tina Fey's remarks were in response to Rep Todd Akin's misguided and erroneous remarks about "legitimate rape", etc. Mr. Akin was in complete error and, in my opinion, deserved the drumming he received from persons of all political persuasions. I am pro-life, but I am not pro-life for the person from womb-to-birth ONLY. The best description of pro-life comes from a "liberal" journalist for the New York Times, Thomas Friedman. God's heart is for the protection of ALL human life, not just the ones in utero, and we need to make the hard decisions to protect those lives, even after they are born.
ReplyDeleteCassi, thanks for sharing your story and adding such a vivid, personal harmony to the chorus. I found your blog through Randy Alcorn's at EPM and I'm glad he shared it. My wife and I homeschool our five children, and our oldest son has Cerebral Palsy. I suspect our families might have plenty of encouragement to offer the other via the blogosphere. We're about as far away from you guys as possible, in Tallahassee, FL. Anyway, I wanted you to know I shared your story on my blog at http://www.ryansprague.com. I'm in the middle of a series of articles responding to questions about abortion and I recently published the one about the rape exception. I added a link at the end of that article and posted your entire story in a separate post. Thanks again for sharing!
ReplyDeleteCassi,
ReplyDeleteYour pain is one of the true results of the horrific crimes progressives have visited upon women as they criminalize men, and dehumanize women. For decades we were programmed to believe MEN were a threat.
Most grey haired men with $2 haircuts are trying to help. They are the last of the generations of men BEFORE programming.
We need to ATTACK the evil and vile progressives, women included, who have propagated their hatred of men, and women, and refuse to CORRECT their hate. And we need to punish, biblically, those men who rape and/or abuse women.
We need to repent, turn to God and beg he heals us.
Ghost.